Communication and Conflict Management

     A few months ago, one of my colleagues, who also happens to be a good friend of mine, asked if I was going to be working during summer at the school's summer camp. At the time, I had no intentions of working the entire summer and had mentioned this to her. This was true until I was given the opportunity to be the summer camp director. Being a director is something that I always wanted to try and felt that this was the perfect way to reach my goal. However, when it was announced that I was going to be the director and taking on this new role, she did not take the news so well. (She actually was told in advance, before the other staff members, so that it wouldn't come as too much of a surprise.).  Afterwards, she was quiet and avoided talking to me. A few days later, I said something to her and asked how she felt about all of this. She expressed how she felt and  expressed how she was confused by my taking the job because I originally told her I wasn't going to work during the summer. I explained why I was taking the job, and I was going to need her assistance and hoped that we could collaborate to make summer camp a great experience for the children. Collaborating was a strategy that has somewhat helped the two of us work through these role change. However, I still feel some animosity from her especially when I make suggestions and ask her opinion or when I have an idea that I would like to implement and tell her about it. She seems to have a negative response to whatever I say and I don't know how to handle this. Should I ask her why does she continually respond in this manner or ask her again about how she is feeling towards these changes?
     I understand that I need to be upfront and honest with her, but it is more difficult for me to communicate with her because she is my friend and I do not like conflict. Any one have suggestions on how to go about this? My goal is for the children to enjoy the summer and for us to work collaboratively without any conflict or hostility between us.

Image result for collaboration clipart photo credit: ui-ex.com



Comments

  1. LauraJune 9, 2019 at 6:03 PM

    Hi,
    I would suggest to use the Third Side approach. Taking the Third Side (2019) means:

    1. Seeking to understand both sides of the conflict. (You can try to impartially evaluate both perspective, and ask e how both of you are feeling towards the situation)
    2. Encouraging a process of cooperative negotiation. (You can explain her that her behavior towards you is affecting the work setting, and that both of you should find a solution in a respectful and effective way)
    3. Supporting a wise solution (One that can benefit both of you, and the children in the summer camp.)

    References:
    The Third Side. (2019). What is the Third Side?. Retrieved from: https://thirdside.williamury.com/what-is-the-third-side/

    ReplyDelete
  2. angela salemJune 9, 2019 at 7:04 PM

    I see how your situation is difficult. If I was in your situation, I would take the third side approach (as Laura stated above). But you are right for confronting her with your situation from the beginning.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousJune 10, 2019 at 7:37 PM

    Hi Trisha. If she is your friend, I think that you should still confront her about it because if not, it's still going to be bothering you. You both are adults, so I think you all should go to lunch or dinner and discuss it. Have you ever thought about that maybe she was wanting to be the director and just never said anything or mentioned it to you? I do like the fact that you are asking her for her opinions, and ideas and still wanting her to help. I think you should just ask her. True friends are honest with one another no matter whether they like it or not.

    ReplyDelete

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